Surprise! I'm a single parent


Free Separation Agreement
July 19, 2009, 12:28 am
Filed under: economy

I am now the proud owner of a $1001 document that outlines who owns what between my ex and I. That’s cheap! But don’t think it didn’t hurt to transfer the money into the striped suited ones account.

We had waited six months for his lawyer to write a draft. Six months! If I was writing these for a living I’d have a basic template and a basic interview and I’d knock ’em out like buns in a bakery.

To get things moving along I surfed the net to find out what was required and wrote up a draft. Then I got the ex to read it and made some changes. Then I consulted the list of lawyers my colleagues had recommended and contacted the one with the best parking. I told the lawyer I didn’t want to waste money. We set a price. We added a few extras like some arrangements about what we do about Christmas.

Then off it went to his lawyer. A month passed. My ex came up with a change – the sentence he’d contributed to the document wasn’t what he meant. We made the change. Finally word came that the agreement was signed and ready for my X. I drive to my lawyer. Reading through it I saw that my ex and his lawyer have signed the earlier copy. If I’d signed it it would mean an extra ten thousand dollars for me.

I pointed it out. Yeah, I know.

We printed out the right copy I signed that and we sent it off to the sink hole of time management his lawyer seemed to be.

Thursday I heard that the document was completed. Anticlimax. Now we follow the agreement and maybe by the end of the month my house will be mine (and the banks). ‘

If you want a copy of my agreement to use to draft your own just let me know.




257 Comments so far
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  1. satchel   Beth 09.17.12 @ 11:57 pm      

    If this is for real – I would love a copy. Me and my partner just split and I can’t afford a lawyer, but don’t want to be cheated out of the house.

  2. debzeb   wordmonger 09.18.12 @ 2:20 am      

    You should have it in your inbox now :-)

  3. l.j.mitchell   Jane 10.03.12 @ 5:04 pm      

    If you are stil doing these, I’d love a copy… pleeeeease! Thank you.

  4. debzeb   wordmonger 10.06.12 @ 6:50 pm      

    Hope it helps.

  5. john.clarke2   John 10.11.12 @ 3:39 pm      

    Hi, I know this article was posted a long time ago, but you are still sending copies out that would be awesome! Thanks, John

  6. debzeb   wordmonger 10.11.12 @ 7:56 pm      

    Still shipping them out John :-)

  7. Bundaberg11   Carla s 10.11.12 @ 8:06 pm      

    Would love a copy if you have one.

  8. debzeb   wordmonger 10.11.12 @ 8:28 pm      

    Here you go…

  9. andrewoneclick   Andrew 10.13.12 @ 8:05 pm      

    Hi, could I please have a copy emailed to me? Things are really not good, can’t afford a lawyer and just need to try and get things sorted for the sake of my two young girls.
    Thanks, Andrew.

  10. raeleen71   Raeleen 10.22.12 @ 12:05 am      

    Your blog is inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Would love a copy of the sep agreement please!

  11. debzeb   wordmonger 10.22.12 @ 12:15 am      

    Thanks.

  12. 3rabidbunny3   Rachel 10.23.12 @ 9:14 am      

    I’d love a copy please…if you’re still sending them out :) it would be an immense help!

  13. retaegelhoff   Reta 10.25.12 @ 12:47 pm      

    Would really appreciate a copy – Thank you for sharing

  14. joyceparis   christine 10.25.12 @ 2:33 pm      

    Would love a copy of your agreement.

    Thanks

  15. grahamgaiger   Susan 10.28.12 @ 5:18 pm      

    I would love one of these too please

  16. lachlin   Nicky 10.28.12 @ 11:58 pm      

    Just in the process of assisting a friend in this position so if I could have a copy that would be marvy!!

  17. debzeb   wordmonger 10.29.12 @ 12:36 am      

    Would love to send :-)

  18. debzeb   wordmonger 10.29.12 @ 12:37 am      

    two marvey agreements coming your way…

  19. debzeb   wordmonger 10.29.12 @ 12:40 am      

    Sharing is what its all about.

  20. kiilani23   t 10.30.12 @ 2:44 am      

    can i also get a template? thank you ! this is the only place I’ve seen this!

  21. amanda_hsv   Amanda 11.02.12 @ 3:34 am      

    Can I have a cope please? Thanks

  22. hellomum   Veronica 11.04.12 @ 11:55 pm      

    Reaaly really need one pleeeease

  23. debzeb   wordmonger 11.04.12 @ 11:57 pm      

    No Problem.

  24. debzeb   wordmonger 11.04.12 @ 11:57 pm      

    Let me know if it helps.

  25. debzeb   wordmonger 11.04.12 @ 11:58 pm      

    Yes I couldn’t find anything when I was organising mine so I thought this would be a good idea.

  26. juliane.wilcke   Juliane 11.06.12 @ 1:14 am      

    Very generous and helpful. Could I please get a copy too?

  27. debzeb   wordmonger 11.06.12 @ 1:26 am      

    Gosh they are going like hot cakes this week. Hope they are of use to you :-)

  28. deanmacrae   dean macrae 11.10.12 @ 12:39 am      

    Hey there..aint it sad such documents are like hot cakes!…what to do huh…anyhow..im in the same boat…seperating and would like to ensure details are set out to ensure no future problematics….so sure..if you wouldnt mind emaioling me a copy of your template i would be very appreciative…cheers..

  29. juliane.wilcke   Juliane 11.14.12 @ 5:40 am      

    I’ve just come across some other examples of NZ separation agreements online: http://www.separation-international.com/index.php/new-zealand

  30. tony.tia   Tia 11.18.12 @ 3:08 pm      

    can I get a copy as well. A friend needs one for her daughter. thanks in advance.

  31. debzeb   wordmonger 11.18.12 @ 3:50 pm      

    Thanks Julianne – they look good.

  32. char.bright   Charmaine Bright 11.25.12 @ 2:24 pm      

    I would appreciate a copy if you are still sending them out. Thank you!

  33. tessakfagan   Tessa 11.29.12 @ 1:53 pm      

    Hi there, I would love a copy please! My ex and I are about to discuss a separation agreement in next couple of days. Thankyou!!

  34. anne.gdwn   Anne 12.06.12 @ 10:58 pm      

    If you are still sharing your agreement I would love to have a copy please.

  35. timm   tim 12.30.12 @ 4:55 am      

    wow.this whole process seems quite scary! if you are still helping out, i d so love a copy please. thank you so much.

  36. debzeb   wordmonger 12.30.12 @ 3:13 pm      

    On the way to you now. Please also see: http://www.separation-international.com/index.php/new-zealand

  37. debzeb   wordmonger 12.30.12 @ 3:13 pm      

    Of course and here is a handy site: http://www.separation-international.com/index.php/new-zealand

  38. debzeb   wordmonger 12.30.12 @ 3:14 pm      

    I am and I’m also linking people to this: http://www.separation-international.com/index.php/new-zealand

  39. chiswick87   Chiswick 01.02.13 @ 4:19 pm      

    Would appreciate a copy, lawyers are confusing me as well as draining my funds

  40. debzeb   wordmonger 01.02.13 @ 6:39 pm      

    You need to have an agreement to seperate joint property and agree over the way you will share other property and access to children (and pets and anything else you will continue to share). These agreements aren’t perfect but from what Ive learnt giving them away most agreements end up lacking something. That’s because there isn’t a really good checklist around that lawyers are referring to. For all that, my agreement is pretty good – in hindsight we would have had a review period earlier than the legal one for the kids to decide where they live. Its a bit much asking the kids to be nomads for ten years (in one of my kids case). And there was no agreement about our dog.

    Also in hindsight although we agreed shared costs there wasn’t a process. It took many years before my ex and I were able to set up a joint account and I ceased to pay the bulk of the expences.

    Another thing not mentioned in my agreement is our suepr payments. Luckily Id worked hard to bring his up to the same level as mine but more usually a woman has less in kiwisaver and you’d want to be compensated for him having a larger nest egg put away.

  41. shakz_ace2010   Grace 01.06.13 @ 5:38 pm      

    Hi,
    I wonder if you are still willing to send a copy of the separation agreement so I can start and sort things out before it gets worst. Many thanks.

  42. debzeb   wordmonger 01.06.13 @ 5:54 pm      

    You should have them now.

  43. rob.rood2012   rob 01.13.13 @ 7:30 pm      

    kia ora,if i could also have a copy :) … you sound more like a super solo mum, well done

  44. debzeb   wordmonger 01.13.13 @ 7:52 pm      

    Aw shucks. Here you go – hope they help.

  45. nicola.walker   Nic 17.01.2013 01.16.13 @ 6:21 pm      

    Hi
    Would love to have a copy of the seperation agreement if you are still sending it out:-) Bank is insisting on one and like most people to want to pay $$$$$

  46. debzeb   wordmonger 01.16.13 @ 7:22 pm      

    Yes that was the case with me. Bank and lawyer doing conveyancing wanted agreement. I can understand it though. They don’t want to be responsible for an unfair dispersement of assets.

  47. greenery00   Myra 01.24.13 @ 3:58 pm      

    Hi,
    Please can you send me a copy so that I prepare mine too. Just like anyone, I can’t afford to spend on expensive legal fees. Thanks in advance.

  48. debzeb   wordmonger 01.24.13 @ 5:41 pm      

    Should be with you now – all the best with your split.

  49. projectline5   Jane 01.27.13 @ 3:25 am      

    Please could have a copy too? Thank you so much for sharing.

  50. debzeb   wordmonger 01.27.13 @ 1:50 pm      

    Just sent to you now.



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