Surprise! I'm a single parent

Occasionally my exhusband gives me grief. When this happens I often find myself thinking how great it is I am not with him anymore. The frustrations today are nothing new – they were what I used to accept. I used to try being nicer and being good and being understanding and being loving and being patient and accepting that maybe I was a nag and all the other things he liked to suggest I was. Yup I’m flawed, yup yup yup.

Is he a bastard? I don’t know. For some reason my husband was like a lot of men who once he had wooed and won he didn’t have much idea how to love. And maybe the same can be said for me.

Sometimes however I realise that I have friends who are married to bastards. Men who practice psychological sabotage, men who shove, men who sulk and men who shout.

I know its hard to get out. But the grass is soooo much greener over here. If I had known how much better it was going to be I would have gotten out years ago. I lost so much of myself in my marriage. It sounds cliche but that’s what happened. Now I feel like I’m blossoming and I would so dearly like to see that happen for others.

1.    Salila 07.12.12 @ 4:17 am      

   You blog is very interested, I wonder whether you talk about me. Well we all go through same at one stage. I felt so good when i collected my courage to talk to him about my intention of separation. First time without yelling at each other, we spoke very nicely.
   I know the road is bumpy, anyway i was alone to handle everything like a single woman from morning to evening in the marriage.

   I lost my self in my marriage. Once i took my decision, i started becoming my self, my long lost self returned gradually. I am much happier now.

2.    BeeNZ 07.07.13 @ 2:08 am      

   It’s good to hear that – I believe I’ll feel as you do know but am not quite there yet